THERE ONCE WAS A GROUP WITH ESPRIT

WHO THOUGHT THEY KNEW HOW TO SKI.

THEY SIGNED UP TO LEARN

TO FINE- TUNE THEIR TURNS,

BUT GOT STUCK WITH YOUNG ANTHONY!

HIS FACE WAS SUFFUSED WITH A TAN

HOWEVER. IT CAME FROM A CAN,

THAT PROMISED POPULARITY

WITHOUT ALL THAT SINCERITY.

OH! WHAT A DESIRABLE MAN!

THEY WHIRLED DOWN WHISTLER

AND BOUNDED DOWN BLACKCOMB

THEY RODE EVERY CHAIR IN SIGHT

THOUGH FACE-PLANTS WERE FEW,

AND THEY KNEW WHAT TO DO,

THEIR SKIING WAS STILL NOT QUITE RIGHT.

WHEN HE SAW OUR SKIS A-FLAPPING

HE SAID EH DON'T SKI LIKE YOUR CRAPPING

TO SKI LIKE I'M TRUCKING

SO THE HILL WILL NOT CATCH YOU NAPPING

SKI AS IF YOU ARE FUCKING.

AGAIN IN THE RACE HE TOOK THE FIRST PLACE

THIS INSTRUCTOR-SLASH-GOD COULD NEVER LOSE FACE

THOUGH HIS TAN MIGHT PEEL,

HE’LL SURELY STILL FEEL

HE’S TOO SEXY FOR THIS PLACE.

THE DAY WAS A DREAM

AS WE SKIMMED THE JERSEY CREAM

TILL WE GOT TO THE WALL

AND ROGER'S GREAT FALL

BUT "OH SHIT!" WAS ALL HE COULD SCREAM.

WHILE WEBB WAS OFF HAVING A CHILD

ANTHONY'S ANTICS GOT REALLY WILD

WE CAN'T SAY WHAT HE DID OR SAID

OR ELSE HE WOULD BE FIRED OR DEAD

BUT AN OFFICIAL REPORT HAS BEEN FILED.

AS WE COME TO THE END OF THIS SESSION

THERE IS A REALLY IMPORTANT LESSON

IF YOU WANT TO SKI WELL

AND STILL LIVE TO TELL

THINK SEX & SKI WITH AGGRESSION.